Swimsuit And Anything Else You Want..I'm Down

I'm 46, live in Georgia, married to a older man,(for obvious reasons) I'm trying to live a life that's really about being accepted. It's hard having a ungrateful son, a money hungry family and not having the confidence in myself to believe I don't need a man to support me. I had a good guy once, he struggled, but overcame alot of things to be a true man..I will regret losing him ..I was a so worried about my family threats to not talk to me if I choose happiness and being able to be myself,and now live a lie..we all make mistakes, and time will eventually show me how much I truly lost :(